Photo Credit: © Can Stock Photo / diego_cervo
Joel was lying on the floor, watching the big color TV when he heard the sound of corn popping. When the kernels hit the metal lid of the pan, it sang out in those unmistakable ping-pong tones. There was nothing he loved more than a bowl of popcorn made the old-fashioned way. And his mom was so cool that she started making it for him without his even asking. She did a lot of nice things like that for everyone. She seemed to be their best friend. In the evening she asked people if they had had a nice day and in the morning if they had slept well. When Joel told her something, she—looking him straight in the eye—gave him her full attention. When he looked away, she reminded him to stay focused, to finish his story quickly, and never to lose eye contact. As a result, Joel was an exceptional orator. When he spoke, people were interested, and he didn’t crowd a bunch of unnecessary details into his speeches.
In retrospect, he learned to be a good listener, a good speaker, and even a good storyteller by watching and listening to his mom. He also knew the value of being kind and considerate; he never burned a bridge. He could make a new friend and keep contact with old friends simply by showing interest, remembering important details like someone’s favorite song, favorite food, or birth date.
Emulating Elders
His dad was also influential. A strong, silent man who listened carefully, he spoke with great economy. Joel watched his dad in exchanges with other men. Some babbled endlessly and Joel’s dad would simply nod, smile, and gesture but rarely spoke more than a few words at a time. This gave him a sort of “power” in Joel’s eyes, and Joel carried on this approach at school and among his friends.