The thoughts that keep us up at night and what to do about them
Sleep-related problems affect 50- to 70-million Americans of all ages and socioeconomic classes, according to a 2022 study completed by sleephealth.org. Evidently, the most common disorders include insomnia, sleep-apnea, restless-legs syndrome, and narcolepsy. The odds of being sleep-deprived (fewer than six hours per night) have increased significantly over the past 30 years as the lines between work and home became blurred, thanks to digital technology becoming a firm part of the American lifestyle.
My doctor sent me for an overnight sleep-apnea test years ago. I packed my jammies and toothbrush and left the wife and kids for the hospital around dusk. The kids looked concerned and kissed me as if I were leaving for Iraq. The wife wanted more clarification of the monitoring staff, and seemed a little disturbed that I was being videotaped all night. I assured her this was standard procedure and departed for the hospital.
Between The Sheets
After I brushed and dressed for bed (sans bedtime story), I was taken to a very clinical room where my head and arms were attached to no fewer than eight wires. I lay down carefully under a spider web of electronics and tried to relax. Right. I slept a total of 1 hour and 33 minutes. One week later, the official results showed I was having trouble sleeping. Wow—the wonder of technology.
Back home, I was next introduced to a sleep-apnea machine, which made me look and sound like Darth Vader. This headgear monstrosity was created to remove every romantic impulse a husband and wife ever had. The look on her face as night one commenced was more than I could stand. I told her, “Luke, I am your father.” She didn’t even smile. I called the doc the next day, and he intimated that apnea has a lot to do with weight gain. As I began to increase my fitness, indeed the problem began to lessen. Just for good measure I set up the spare bedroom that I could use from time to time when I awoke to find my wife sitting with her head in her hands. Really, guys, there is a common courtesy to consider if you are snoring the siding off the house. She has to get up tomorrow and be productive, too.
