It’s all that really matters
One of the most dangerous phrases in the English language is “supposed to.” Its equivalent in any other language is probably equally potent. It is usually followed by another phrase that is the “qualifier,” if you will.
- I’m supposed to work on that. It will look good on my resume.
- We’re supposed to save every penny. That’s why we never take a vacation,
- I’m supposed to drink this kale-and-whey milkshake for better health.
- I’m supposed to back down in arguments. It will save the stress of fighting.
And the most dangerous one of all:
- I’m supposed to do that because it will be good for me.
If I had the ability to consider how many times I did something because someone said it would be “good for me,” and measure if it truly came out in my favor, I think the list would look like this:
- Don’t touch that hot pan.
- Don’t drink that milk; it is spoiled.
- Don’t cry over losing a Little League baseball game.
Other than that short list, the things that were supposedly “good for me” typically turned out to be moderately helpful for me and good for someone else.
You see, “supposed to” sets up a certain sense of obligation in your mind. Once someone has imposed that factor in the story, you begin to operate on automatic pilot. In that mode, sometimes you neglect to modify that which you are supposed to be doing because the task has already been so strictly assigned in your mind that you feel powerless to alter it.
