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My wife and I had a conversation just the other day about when it’s OK to intervene when another child is aggressive or tries to take something from our daughter. Both of us have a Ph.D. in education and have worked extensively with children, yet we found the issue to be a challenging dilemma. First, we had to consider the message we would be sending to our daughter about her ability to advocate for herself. Second, we were concerned with what the other child’s parents (or teacher), or other adult observers might think if we intervened. Would it be better to tell the adult responsible for the environment or situation (teacher, coach, etc.), or to just act on our daughter’s behalf?
As I write this column, I am not going to pretend I have all of the answers. However, given the amount of time that park and recreation staff members spend interacting with parents and children, the question of how and when to allow a parent to speak to someone else’s child is worth exploring. Before you read my take, I want to stress that these are conversations that must be discussed internally as a staff team, and whatever expectations you have must be communicated, modeled, and enforced consistently across youth programs.
When It’s An Obligation
The one obvious time it is OK and really an ethical responsibility to speak up and/or intervene is a risk of physical or emotional harm. The former situation is easier to identify than the latter. If a child is preparing to do anything that might cause bodily harm to himself or herself or someone else, you should act. There are two caveats: